LOVERS JOKES OF THE MOMENTS---22 facts you needs to know
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A teenage girl went to see her pastor for counselling and the pastor asked her what happened to
her. She replied that her boy friend did something very bad to her . The pastor asked her " what did your boy friend do to you, did he beat you?" The girl replied: "No" the pastor Kissed her and said "Did he do this to you" ? The girl replied "No" The pastor laid her down and made love to her asked  her "did he do this to you?" The girl said "No" and then added " I went to have a test and it was confirmed that my boyfriend has given me HIV-AIDS and the pastor fainted




2. THE BALLOON

Two kids were playing and  they found a used condom and took it home as a balloon. Their mother was so upset and warned them not to pick things while playing. When she left, one of the kids said to the other one. "Why was our mother so angry that we found a balloon and the other one replied "thank god  we didn't tell her we drank the yoghourt inside....

3. Doctors  in bed

One cool evening, a man met a woman in a bar and they were having a drink. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors.
After about an hour, the man says to the woman, ''hey how about if we sleep together tonight. No string attacked. It'll just be one night of fun!! The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, ''you' re a surgeon, aren't you?'' yeah, how did you know?'' The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started.'' Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. "You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?'' "Yeah", says the man, a bit surprised. "How did you know? The woman answer, "because I didn't feel a thing.

 THE DRUNKEN GUY
A drunk guy was asked to give a speech to deaf and dumb people.... So he goes up on stage, squeezed his chest, touched his d**k and starts

masturbating. The organizer pulled him off stage and asked him, 'what the hell do you think you are doing?" The  drunken guy replies: "I just want to start by saying ladies and gentlemen. It gives me great pleasure.......................

5. TROUBLE

man rushes into a bar and tells the barman: ''Quick give me a double brandy before the trouble starts". The  barman obliged and the man finished the drink in a gulp. Again he said to the barman:
Quick give man another double brandy before the trouble starts". He also downed it. The barman said;" just a minute when is all this trouble going to start? The man replied: "Anytime from now because I have no money.

6. DICK HEAD

Chinenye, an innocent virgin ws with onyeka who was trying to have sex with her. onyeka was begging her but Chinenye said no. Unknown to both of both of them , Chinenye's mother was listening outside the room. After Chinenye refused his offer for second time, Onyeka said to her, just allow me put only the head in it" chinenye a naive girl felt it was not bad idea.. Just the head of dick would not cause any stress.
But before she could concede to the idea, her mother shouted from outside, "Chinenye! That thing do no get shoulder o! If the head enter, the whole body don enter".

7. PROFESSIONALS

Joshua asked a girl who was sitting at the table by herself at the library, ''Do you mind if I sit with you?" The girl answered loudly, ''L dont 't want to spend the night with". All the students in the library started staring at Joshua who was shocked and embarrassed. After a few minutes, the girl walked quietly towards Joshua's table and quietly said: ''I studied psychology and I know human feelings when they are embarrassed". Joshua with a loud voice said ''what! One hundred thousand naira for one night? That's too much". All the students in the library looked at the girl in shock then Joshua whispers to the girl. ''I studied law and I know how to make people feel guilty"..

8. LOVE YOU

C'mon baby I wanna kiss you three times a day ... I wanna touch your lips 3 times a day....... I wanna get deep in your mouth..... I wanna see the thick white substance in your mouth. I wanna feel you deep three times a day..... Wondering who am I? I am yours faithfully, toothbrush. God bless your naught mind......

9. GOING TO HEAVEN

A teacher ask what part of the body goes to heaven first? A child replied feet ..... Because every night I see my mum with her feet in the air screaming God I'm coming...... I'm coming.......

10. HOUSE BOY

chima the boy entered madam's room without knocking........
Madam: chima this is wrong, what I was naked or dressing up?
Chima: that can never happen madam. I always peep first and if you are naked, I will just wait small the look you until you dress finish before I enter.

11. HUSBAND AND WIFE

Husband: why are you watching the food channel, you can't cook?
Wife: why do you watch porn. You can' fuck?

12. TOASTER.

A guy was toasting a girl one day. After everything, the girl asked him! ''Are you in school and what course are you studying?" He Lied to her and said? ''Yes I'm in school and I'm studying food science",

13. ADULTS

Guy: '' I am eighteen years old"
Girl: " I am eighteen years old too",
Guy: '' go where?"
Guy: ''To cast the vote........"

14. IN A BUS

A busty lady entered a bus.... She wore a rosary with the cross between her boobs ....the guy opposite her couldn't help staring at her boobs. Knowing the guy had been starring for over 15mins, the lady asked. Are you looking at the cross of Jesus Christ who died on the cross? The guy replied. "No! I'm actually looking at the two big thieves beside him


LAW ENFORCEMENT
A policeman caught a lady urinating at place clearly marked; ''Do not urinate here. Fine N500; He wanted to arrest her but she gave him a N1,000 Note. The policeman turns around, fumbled a bit and said ''Urinate again I do not have change".

DYING OF CANCER

A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of  AIDS. When his son asked him Dad why? He answered so that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your mum.

17. NIPPLE POISON

A Man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on his wife's nipples while she was asleep. The next day, their driver died of poisoning.


18. FATHER TROUSER ZIP....

A young boy saw his father's trouser zip open and he said: "Dad, your zip is open;His father replied: thanks but too raw the way you said it.
You could have said my makeup box is open. After two days the boy also saw his father's zip open and he said : "Dad your makeup box is open and your lipstick is out".


19. Testimony

in church last Sunday, an uyo lady came out to share her testimony of a miraculous pregnancy but because of the problem of pronouncing "l" and "r" she said : "Bledten plaise the rod"church:  haleluyah sister you see me before I no fit born pikin then l come did church and l see pastor then pastor say make l come private player meeting. Na for there pastor come follow him rod arise and do wonder for my body and now l don dey three months pregnant. Make una beg help me d rod of pastor...

20. Diabetic patience
 An american man was making to love his wife for the first time. He suddenly screamed, ran out of the bedroom and came back, with a glass of water which he poured on his wife's pussy. The frightened wife holled "what that for?" The man answered!! Bomba flat! that pussy too sweet mehn, I am gonna dilute it; remember me diabetic"

21. LADY PANTIES
A lady lost three panties in her house and she blamed her maid and said "Sir, you are my witness you know that I never wear panties.

22. PUTTING PETROL ON YOUR MUM'S
Couple is having a quickie and their 6year old old catches them.
Son-"what are you doing? He asked
Father-"I'm putting petrol on your mum". Son-"Haauu-Haauu! Which means mum's engine is taking too much petrol cause Mr. Zwane has put in it yesterday.

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